I don't have a guru and I am not a guru
So I’ve been reading through resources, in particular regarding wellness and goal-setting and making new behaviours… I love that people are talking about this stuff and trying to share and teach. However, I am also very uncomfortable that so many people who are talking about this stuff are kinda preachy. Or at least when I read their stuff, I feel like they have never made an absolutely irresponsible and risky choice, lived to tell the tale, and are forever grateful that they said, “well fuck it, let's see how it goes!”
Because, though I might appear tightly wound and carefully managed, I can raise some hell with the best of them. When I want to do that. Frequently, I take big risks. And I have a lot of fun. So far, I’ve lived to tell about all of it. And at least half the time, I’m really happy that I let loose a little or walked on the edge. I’m satisfied with my choices. All of them, like almost all of the time. And only some of them were “good” choices, on the surface.
If you’re looking for someone who is like the therapists they show on tv… yeah, you are going to be highly disappointed if you meet with me. Or one of those people that has a self-help book and all the answers to life. That’s not me, either. I don’t even really want to try to be like that, or pretend to be like that. That’s great for them, if it works for them. It's just not me, and trying to act like that, doesn’t work for me.
I feel like I’m making the whole working mom/wife with chronic illness, choosing everyday habits to build wellness thing, work for me at this moment. However, I don’t have all the answers even for myself. I like helping others figure out how they want to attempt the “wellness” in their life. However, I am not a guru. I don’t have a guru. I don’t want a guru. You can have a guru, as long as it is not me!
I’m good at asking questions.
That's it. That’s what I do. That’s my job. I am naturally curious and a bit of a shit disturber. When something scares me, I go towards it, for the most part. I am good at breaking things down into steps and organizing them. And I like stories. All of these things could help you to look at whatever is happening for you, a bit differently, and find a new angle or a tweak. Maybe. But you’re doing the looking and finding and trying. I’m just there asking questions and listening. It could even get annoying. And that's okay.
Please don’t take this little bit of writing on a Tuesday afternoon, as me telling you to do something risky or stupid. I take no responsibility for that kind of thing. I don't think you "should" do anything in particular. I don't know you. The only ones I tell to do stuff are my kids, my husband, my dad's dog, and my dad. That's how I'm keeping it. (Btw, the one that "obeys" the best is my dad's dog and he still pees on the floor regularly.) I don't spend time with very obedient folks. Which is cool with me. And for the record, the only person who can tell me to do anything, and have me actually listen, is my daughter. She's almost 4.