Hold Fast

Folks, I wanted to share my mantra that I have been using so far this year. Hold Fast. My relationship with mantras in general is a bit rocky. Many times, especially when stressed out, I read a mantra or advice about positive thinking and it feels like it misses the mark. (To be honest, it really ticks me off!) Things like “look on the bright side” or “find the silver lining” or any other equally trite expression really hit me the wrong way when life sucks. Because the thing is, I’m usually looking on the bright side and finding the silver linings. That’s my go to. So if I’m struggling and I say I’m struggling that’s not helpful.

So when I came across the idea of Hold Fast. It was soothing. It captures the idea of getting through and connects me to both the intensity of the moment and also the perspective that others have experienced bad storms too. Hold fast is an old mariners term meaning to securely grip the rigging on a ship through a storm. It’s an iconic knuckle tattoo for the hard core. And it expresses the idea of managing despite difficulty, or rather, because of it.

To meditate on the term hold fast, I want to emphasize that it does not mean putting up with situations that you can get out of despite some challenges. Sailors would go around storms if and whenever possible. It means when you find yourself approaching or in an unavoidable storm, hanging on and doing your best (which isn’t always great) until you have other options. It means getting through and was never meant to be an ongoing lifestyle. And this is important. Once a storm has passed, it is really important to untangle from the rigging, get on solid ground, attend to neglected needs, mourn, celebrate, connect. All the things. With all our people.

Coping in the midst of a storm looks differently than coping when things are relatively calm. And each person is going to find different ways to do it. Focus on what you can do to take care of yourself & your family in this moment is empowering. That is what it looks like to Hold Fast right now. Manage the moment and the month. Figure out your own “good enough” parenting, working, eating, cleaning, connecting. Do that. The rest can come later. Make a list if you need to and schedule an appointment to look at next season. If it’s important, you may be lucky enough to come back to it. Not everyone will have that opportunity.

*** I wrote most of this the third week of January. It was a trying month. In fact, because I was resolutely committed to the Hold Fast idea, I didn’t get around to editing this post until now. The end of February. I think the concept still applies, even though for Ontario we are out of our second lock down and getting the opportunity to catch up with things. Things still aren’t 100% normal. People are talking about Pandemic Burnout a lot right now. Because we are coming up to the 1 year mark of managing this unique storm.