Preparing for winter- connecting with therapy
Connecting with Therapy- Choosing a Therapist/Counsellor
Friends and family have asked me about how to know who is a good therapist. This is a tough question to answer because therapy isn’t like hiring an electrician or mechanic. Therapy requires specific therapeutic skills and knowledge along with a trusting relationship. Feeling like your therapist “gets you” can be as important as the techniques that they use, so it’s not just about technical competence and expertise (though those things are important and helpful!)
If you are connecting with therapy through a hospital or community agency, your care will be more standardized. It’s still important to connect with your therapy team, however you will most likely not have a lot of choice or flexibility as to who you are working with or how they work. Most hospitals and community agencies use evidence-based and manual-based treatment programs that can be delivered by many different professionals across time. The person who provides your care may change. You may be offered individual or group sessions based on the program and not based on your personal preferences. This means that your services will often be consistent no matter who is delivering them but that you can’t choose who, how, or frequency of your care.
If you are able to seek private therapy, through extended health benefits or by paying out of pocket, this blog post is for you. In private therapy you are able to seek counselling that fits your personal preferences more easily. However, this means it is important to know how to find the services you want and connect to them!
When you are looking to start therapy, consider how you hope it will function in your life. How much money do you have available for therapy? How much time do you have to devote to therapy and how often? Do you want more coping skills to manage stress or anxiety? Do you want a place to vent about what’s happening and have social connection? Do you need help navigating a specific relationship? To process trauma? There are therapists and counsellors who specialize in each of these aspects. There are also many different types of therapy- if you read an article about a specific set of skills from one type of therapy and it seems helpful to you- consider finding a therapist specialized in that form of therapy.
When you are at the point when you are seriously looking to connect with a therapist, there are a few things you can do to find the right fit for you and your needs.
1- Search online using databases like Psychology Today that has filters and then sort through the numerous professionals available. Generally, therapy/counselling is regulated based on where you live, so seek a professional who is registered in your province or territory. Thanks to the magic of the internet you do not have to limit your search to places within commuting distance if they offer phone or video sessions. Ask friends and family for recommendations. Make a list of a few people that you are interested in learning more about.
2- Hopefully your therapist will have a website, but some great therapists do not (that doesn’t speak to there therapy skills at all.) You can use the database or their professional website to checkout their qualifications & registration, previous experience, and ongoing education. Generally most therapists that are recognized by extended health benefits will have a Masters degree in Counselling, Social Work, or Marriage & Family Therapy or a PhD in clinical psychology. For therapists in private practice, look for therapists and counsellors with more than 5 years of post-graduate experience. See if they have any ongoing educational activities listed on their website or ask about it during a free conversation- like a Meet & Greet or Consult.
3- Call, email, or use their online booking system to check to see if they are accepting new clients and then schedule a free consult or Meet & Greet session. This is a short phone call, online video chat, or in-person meeting that allows you to ask any questions, check out the technology that they use for online sessions or to see their office space, and most importantly to get a sense about whether you will work well together.
Questions to ask during a free Meet & Greet:
when do they work? And consider if your schedules are a match (especially if you need evening or weekend appointments)
when can they see you for an appointment- is it next week or next month? depending on your needs you may not want to wait too long to begin therapy.
How often do they recommended having sessions? Is that realistic for your needs and schedule? Are they flexible about that and how will they take that into account when designing your treatment plan.
How do they work? What modality- like CBT, DBT, EFT.. Do they supplement the in session appointments with any kind of between session work like recommended readings, meditation, or worksheets and does this fit your expectations?
Can they recommend any websites to learn more about the type of therapy they use or research to show that it is helpful for people with concerns similar to yours
How much sessions cost, do they offer a sliding scale (if you don’t have benefits and their rates are challenging for you) and if needed is there a limit to the number of sessions they will offer to you at a sliding scale rate?
4- When you have met with someone who you think is a fit, book your first session in the next available spot that fits your schedule. It would suck to find someone who you think you will work well with and then check back a month or two later when you NEED it, for them to be fully booked and have a wait list and you have to start the process from the beginning again.
5- In your first session, clearly state your goals or work with your therapist to set them and determine how you will know if you are moving towards them. If things are going pretty well, consider seeing your therapist monthly over the winter time as things are uncertain this year. If things are difficult right now, consider how often you can afford to go to therapy and build a schedule based on that.
6- If after a three or four sessions you notice that therapy isn’t working how you had hoped, bring it up to your therapist and work together to see how to work towards your goals for therapy. It’s a really important conversation. If the therapist seems unnerved by your honest feedback, go back to your first list of folks and see if you can find someone else. Not every therapist is the right fit for each person- it doesn’t mean that they are not a good therapist- just not the right one for you. And you deserve to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with that is working with you! (Side note- therapy isn’t all unicorns and rainbows… so discomfort isn’t necessarily a sign that “its not working…”)
7- Remember that therapy isn’t magic. It takes effort, commitment and time to make big changes in your life!
I think that therapy is just one way people can take care of themselves. During Covid I believe that therapy and counselling play an important role because people are not able to connect in the same ways to other aspects of social and emotional care that they may otherwise use to look after themselves. Taking the time and prioritizing mental, emotional, and social wellbeing can help people to function better in the other parts of their life (like at work, parenting, partnering, or even as a friend) during times of stress.