Why do people go to therapy?

The all important question. The most basic answer: To take care of themselves. Just like people go to the dentist to take care of their smile, to maintain an ability (to chew), and to prevent decay not just when they need a root canal. Therapy is not just for people with an illness as part of a treatment plan, it is also for people wanting routine maintenance and support for emotional wellbeing.

Therapy does not replace hanging out with friends. It does not sub in for date nights with a partner. Or for zoning out while watching Netflix or for relaxing in the tub and reading a book. It can’t take the place of evening walks or morning yoga. There are so many ways to take care of emotional health, personal growth, solitude and social connection. Therapy is one way to meet many different personal needs.

I go to therapy regularly now. I find it's one of the ways to make time for me. Sometimes I have really important work that I bring to my therapist and rely on her skillful support in navigating my healing. Other weeks it’s a moment to review all the happenings and how I feel about it or to refocus on my values and priorities. Oftentimes, the outside perspective helps me to find creative strategies for my day-to-day. Or I’m able to figure out how to bring up a tough conversation with someone I love. Even though I do this work with other people, sometimes I need another perspective. How many dentists fill their own cavities?

I’ve decided that my life doesn’t have to be falling apart to take an hour to care for myself.  It’s okay that I need personal time. In fact, it’s important to say it out loud and act on it. To claim that space and time. Especially as a mother. Especially right now.

Finding strategies to make time for your personal needs, that work in your circumstances, might require you to get really creative. And might feel like an exhausting prospect and just one more thing to check off the list. I get it. and I promise that true-to-you time with yourself will not be draining. It will be energizing and something you look forward to each time. Follow that feeling to know the right way to give care to yourself. Regular therapy might not be it. An evening walk or a morning coffee date might be exactly what works for you. And for some the structured, protected, devoted hour of therapy provides that space and time.